Indy’s fire sale is in full swing, and somebody’s left stranded in the middle of it. Meanwhile, a running back in Jacksonville just hit top speed, and an old favorite grabbed a power-up in Arizona. In this Stats & Vibes Week 9 Edition, let’s see if the vibes match up with the numbers.
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Stats & Vibes | Week 9
Daniel Jones | Cast Away
Last week, I called the Colts Yuri Orlov from Lord of War. Well, the arms dealer officially opened for business. That leaves Daniel Jones as Tom Hanks in Cast Away. This dude is stranded on an island, and the Colts keep taking away everything he needs to survive.
First, they traded Michael Pittman in the offseason. Then last week, Quenton Nelson was sent packing. Next, they shipped out DeForest Buckner. Now Josh Downs wants out, and Jonathan Taylor could be next. At this point, Jones is sitting on the beach watching another shipment leave Indianapolis, wondering who’ll be left on this damn roster.
To be fair, the island wasn’t exactly a resort before the trades started. Jones has thrown for 1,542 yards, five touchdowns, and nine interceptions. He’s completing 60.4% of his passes, and his passer rating sits at 68.7. He’s also taken 22 sacks.
Daniel Jones’ 2026 Efficiency Metrics
This past week showed what happens when the supplies run out. Jones played his first game without Nelson anchoring the offensive line. Sure enough, he took three sacks and threw two picks. Losing your best lineman will do that to a guy.
On top of that, Jones is still working his way back from an Achilles rupture, and it shows. His legs used to be a real weapon. This year, he has just 75 rushing yards — he’s limping around the island.
Still, just like Tom Hanks, he’s trying to make the best of a miserable situation. He’s got limited resources and nobody to rely on, and he’s just trying to survive another week.
The problem is that dynasty managers are watching all this and wondering how much longer he can keep it up. Maybe the Colts eventually rescue him. Maybe he paddles off to another island. Right now, though, he’s got a whole lot of ocean in front of him and not much help.
Jones isn’t playing quarterback anymore. He’s just trying to survive on an island, and the Colts keep taking away his Wilson.
Bhayshul Tuten | Sonic the Hedgehog
Speaking of the Colts, their defense had a front-row seat to our next guy. Bhayshul Tuten is Sonic the Hedgehog (yes, I know there is already a Sonic in the league, but stay with me here…)
You remember what Sonic does when you put the controller down, right? He just stands there tapping his foot, staring at you. That was Tuten last year, waiting for Liam Coen to come back from AFK.
When it comes to speed, though, this dude is built different. Give him a little daylight, and he’s gone. The defense is chasing shadows, the angles stop mattering, and before you know it, he’s in the end zone.
The underlying numbers backed that up even before last week. According to PlayerProfiler, Tuten ranked third in the league with a 32.8% juke rate. He also ranked fourth with 4.5 yards created per touch, and 18th with a 105.6 Rushing EPX. Those are blue-blur numbers.
Sonic doesn’t hit top speed the second you press right, though. He has to ramp up first. The first half of the season, Tuten looked promising, but Week 8 has shown the ceiling. Against Indianapolis, he finally hit full momentum. He ran for 104 yards, added 55 more through the air, and scored twice — 159 yards just 18 touches. That’s almost nine yards every time he touched the ball, and he did it without even playing every snap.
BHAYSHUL TUTEN RUNNING THROUGH DEFENDERS FOR A 39-YARD TD
INDvsJAX on CBS/Paramount+
Stream on @NFLPluspic.twitter.com/d2MvvxMdPw— NFL (@NFL) November 1, 2026
That’s what makes Tuten so exciting. He doesn’t need 25 touches to make a difference. He just needs a crease, and suddenly you’re watching him outrun everybody to the end zone.
Better yet, Jacksonville finally seems ready to let him be the guy. The question is whether he can stay healthy and turn those flashes into consistent production, especially ankle and foot issues already popping up this week. If he does, we’re talking about a running back who can swing a fantasy matchup on any given touch.
Tuten doesn’t need to run through the defense. He just needs to run past it. Gotta go fast!
Gardner Minshew | Mario With a Starman
From one video game legend to another. Gardner Minshew is Mario with a Starman.
You know exactly what you’re getting with this guy. Every once in a while, he gets his shot, the music kicks in, and suddenly Minshew Mania is taking over the entire NFL.
Week 8 was a perfect example. Arizona trailed 17-3 late in the third quarter when Minshew came off the bench. Then he grabbed the Starman. The Cardinals scored touchdowns on each of their next four drives. Minshew completed 73.9% of his passes for 188 yards and three touchdowns, and posted a 137.3 passer rating. To top it off, he capped a game-tying drive with six seconds left on the clock.
That’s the full Minshew experience. He comes off the bench, starts slinging touchdowns, gets everybody believing, and turns a game that looked over into an absolute spectacle.
Of course, the thing about the Starman is that it doesn’t last forever. Eventually the music stops, the flashing fades, and you’re back to regular old Mario.
Gardner Minshew is like the McRib. He exists for just a limited amount of time. But while he’s here, it’s spectacular.
— Adam Rank (@adamrank) November 1, 2026
That’s Gardner Minshew. He’s not somebody you want to build a franchise around. When he gets hot, though, you absolutely want to be along for the ride. Now that he’s been named the starter, he’s a fun streaming option in Superflex and 2-QB leagues.
And that’s the beauty of Minshew Mania. You don’t need it to last forever. You just need to enjoy it while the music’s playing.
Minshew is a fantasy cheat code with an expiration timer.
Jon Machado is a fantasy football analyst and host of the Future 1st podcast for PlayerProfiler
Follow @JMac_FF
